Everybody's not a winner.

When I was little, I had two favorite stuffed animals, Sealy (a seal), and Murphy (a rabbit, "Rabbity" would have shown a lack of creativity). I used to sleep with them wedged on either side of me every night. In kindergarten, we had a stuffed animal contest. I brought Murphy, because -- Sealy: earmuffs-- he was my favorite. Murphy was (okay, is, I still have him) a grey and white puppet, with soft cottony outsides and corduroy insides. It should be noted that he was not particularly big or round or oversized. The judging was to occur during recess, and since it was kindergarten, everybody won a prize. As I played innocently outside, dreaming of winning "best in show" or "most lovable", the judges judged judgingly. After recess, we came barreling back in and eagerly awaited hearing what award our beloved stuffed friends had won. I watched, heart in hand, as "cutest", "fuzziest", "most huggable" were announced. Then, my teacher, held up Murphy. I was giddy with anticipation. Then she said, "fattest".
Can't type, crying.