i'm an idiot, part 398749873.

yesterday morning we were running late for work. i had an early meeting. emails were streaming in. we'd overslept. but somehow i still felt the need to quickly trim my bangs before leaving the house. sure enough, in my haste i managed to poke myself in the eye WITH THE SCISSORS!!!!!!!

yeah.

i was fine. i mean, my cornea will probably fall out at some point. but at the moment, everything's remained intact. it was just totally one of those moments where i thought, "serves you right, dummy."

the next moment, i imagined the Lifetime Original Movie they would make about me.

"Blinded by Vanity: The Puppy Thompson Story."