Wedding Follow-up.

(a portrait of me and Derek at the wedding)

I should have posted this last week, right after i got back from the wedding. but don't worry. it's still fresh in my mind from two weeks ago. in fact, it would be hard to forget. here's why:

let me start at the beginning — did they copy us beyond the invitation? i mean, can you really "copy" someone's wedding...not really. people have done family-style meals and the whole mason-jars-as-glasses thing before and they will do it again. so, no. not really. my conclusion: i have decided to be flattered about the invitation "inspired" by ours.

the wedding itself it was sweet and personal. maybe vaguely disorganized? definitely a bit of a do-it-yourself wedding. no bartender, no DJ, and no meat. YES. it was a vegetarian wedding! personally, that's my nightmare, but good for them for doing it their way.

i guess i should have seen the light, veggie-only meal coming since the caterers ran out of veggie burgers, and not lobsters, at the rehearsal dinner clambake the night before. (at that party, people were talking about how they'd "never had lobster before, and tried it, but it was too gross." my reaction to this was, "do you hate drawn butter, too?!")

the best thing that happened all weekend was finding out that Derek's ex-G wasn't going to be at the wedding. Whheeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww...

not that she's even that bad, it was just an extra layer of stress i didn't need. it would have made meeting all of "their" friends just that much more awkward. so, thanks ex-G, i owe you one for skipping out!

as far as i can recall, only two somewhat negative things happened:

ONE:
right before the wedding, i ate a big bowl of clam chowder (maybe i sensed i was in for a plateful of squash and zucchini?) this turned out to be pretty fucking regrettable as it did NOT sit well. and i experienced one of the most painful cases of "The Waves" i've ever had. literally was sweating and alternately freezing for about an hour with excruciating stomach cramps. plus, i was terrified that if i had to actually use a bathroom only port-o-potties awaited. but the cramps ultimately subsided and everything was good again.

beyond the clam chowder, near-diarrhea incident, everything was fine. we dined, we danced, we had a blast. but then...

TWO:
i left on the hotel shuttle bus before Derek because i had to make sure the dog got walked. i ended up passing out before Derek got back to the hotel. he claims he knocked repeatedly and that none of the 4 keys he had for the room would work.

apparently, he had to pee so badly and was so panicked and drunk at this point in the evening that he convinced himself it was okay to pee in the stairway of the hotel.

read it again. i want to make sure you understand how nonsensical that is. there are bathrooms in the hotel lobby and in the hallway of our floor.

anyway, i awoke to a very drunk, but hilarious Derek, telling me that he missed me and that he'd peed in the stairs.

we call ourselves The Aristocrats!