Here you are:
Look at you!
Another gift from F. I'll admit, I tried to leave you in New Hampshire. I thought you might be happier there. But no, F was onto me, and shouted, "don't forget Angel Bear!" before I could make my getaway. So here you are. I'll put you in the toy bin with the pastel pink bunny rabbit and the natty-haired duck with the bonnet that F gave Mango for Easter, and by the "ages 3 and up only" dinosaur with chew-offable pieces of rubber that Brawn gave Mango when she was first born. I'm not gonna lie to you, I'll probably try to make you have some horrible accident and then you can go to Angel Bear Hell, where you belong.
I tried to be the bigger person and see if Mango would like you, remember? I put you on her high chair tray and said, "here's Angel Bear!" and then do you remember what Mango did? That's right, she threw you on the fucking floor where you belong.
Because here's the thing: you're hideous and tacky and I'm pretty sure you came from a thrift store, so I'm dubious of your cleanliness.
I'm not exaggerating when I say someone could not pay me to take you, Angel Baby. So do me a favor, and go play in traffic. And please, let F know to stop, for the love of God.
Sincerely,
Diane Verenburg
4 comments:
Um, it IS ugly.
this thing is hideous.
Wow. I would have thought that taste is a subjective thing, but this doll has proven me wrong, yet again. Because this thing is absolutely, positively, objectively revolting.
The good news is that Mango and her mommy know this.
My mother-in-law gave me TWO hideous dollies the other day. They are identical in their hideousness except one has a yellow bonnet and says "I love you" when you press the belly and the other has a pink bonnet and laughs when you press the belly. In my head, every time pink bonnet laughs she is rejecting yellow bonnet's declaration of love.
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